Hello,

Here’s a little humor to keep us from getting TOO serious! I received this via e-mail from a friend. Enjoy!

Pastor Kevin

Some are re-runs, I
guess because they are just too funny.

Idiot Number One of
2008

I am a medical
student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control
center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little
daughter eating ants.  I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that
she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I
told her that she better
bring her daughter in to the emergency room right
away.

Here’s your sign, lady. Wear it with
pride..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Two of
2008
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided
to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting
it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a
float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming
toward them. It turned
out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locater beacon that
activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at
Boeing.

Here’s your sign, guys. Don’t get it wet; the paint might
run.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Three of
2008

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into
the
Branch and wrote this, “Put all your muny in this bag.”
While
standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began to
worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call
the
police before he reached the teller’s window.  So he left the Bank
of
America and crossed the street to the
Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting
a few minutes in line, he handed his note to
the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn’t the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not
accept his
stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
slip
and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit
slip
or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man
said, “OK” and left.He was
arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in
line back at Bank
of America .

Don’t bother with
this guy’s sign. He probably couldn’t read it
anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Four of
2008

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
that;
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He
later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead
of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of
$40.
several days later, he received a letter from the police
that
contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.  He
immediately
mailed in his $40. Wise guy…

But you still get a
sign

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Five of
2008

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer.  After the cashier put
the cash
in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind
the
counter on the shelf.  He told the cashier to put it in the bag
as
well, but the cashier refused and said, “Because I don’t believe
you
are over 21.” The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused
to
give it to him because she didn’t believe him. At this point,
the
robber took his driver’s license out of his wallet and gave it to
the
clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21
and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
store
with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave
the
name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
  They
arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy
definitely needs a sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot
Number Six of 2008

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, “Nobody move!”
When his
partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn’t even
deserve a sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number
Seven of 2008

Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer
pretty badly. He decided
that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor
store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it
over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
knocking
him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made
of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, here’s
your sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number
Eight of 2008

I live in a semi-rural area.  ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ).  We recently
had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to
request the removal
of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason:
“Too many deer are being
hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a
good place for them to be
crossing anymore.”

STAY ALERT ! They
walk among us… and they REPRODUCE…and they
VOTE!!!

Advertisements